Online video is a great way to reach out and connect, especially in new and exciting ways. However you need to be aware that it’s just an introduction to have an extended conversation – whether through further videos, like we saw with the Old Spice campaign, or other traditional and social media. What is this tired old – and unfunny – approach from Dunkin’ Donuts attempting to say? It has EPIC FAIL written all over it.

We are working on behalf of a high quality small Feature Film and Music Production company owned by NAME ACTORS. Yes, NAME ACTORS. ACTORS with NAMES. Not NOBODIES like YOU. Projects are QUALITY INDIES with literate scripts (ie. NOT horror – we hate HORROR. STOP sending us HORROR scripts. They’re too scary for our NAME ACTORS). NOTE: WE ALREADY HAVE the writing, directing, acting, singing, musicians, and producing covered. WHAT WE NEED : ONLY ONE – or a MAXIMUM TEAM of 3 TECH PEOPLE – we’re not sure – who have ALREADY worked together and can show their collaborative TECH work.

This is a UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY!. You’ll be working with NAME ACTORS, for no money but just think – NAME ACTORS (as in ‘I got screwed by NAME ACTORS’). Speaking of which you must be over 18 years of age or have decent fake ID – we won’t check too hard. Oh, and you must look hot. SUPER MODEL HOT. They are NAME ACTORS after all. In fact if you’re really SUPER MODEL HOT you may not need to have any technical skills at all. Contact us. Remember to send a photo or lots. Video is nice too. Boys, girls – we’re not picky.

We offer you an UPGRADED Credit on the film and potentially grow with our company : People new to the industry but proficient with TECHNOLOGY are welcome, as are more experienced individuals who have updated their skills. WE NEED a Super-Techie who can:

1. Shoot and Light a Digital Feature
2. Edit the Feature
3. Record and master a Music Album/Sound for the Film.
4. Be really needy and insecure.
5. Do it all FOR FREE!
6. Has their own cape and spandex.

It is of utmost importance that you have ENTHUSIASM for the TECHNOLOGICAL aspects of Film and Music Making. For EXTRA credit : if you can also design a “Flash” Skills Website for the project. Massages are nice too.

Remember, you will be working for NAME ACTORS. An opportunity not to be missed.

* Lampooned from an original positions vacant ad – I didn’t need to change much.

Oscar Wilde once quipped, The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. There is a similar sense in the marketing world, but one does have to wonder what the marketing agency was thinking when they commissioned this photo.

Are they trying to say that Carillon City is the sort of place that you’ll wake up in after getting blind drunk the night before? Or are they trying to imply that this is what you’d look like after you’d visited all 45 fashion destinations (in 7 days)? Neither message is very appealing and my first response was to burst out laughing. Is that worse than being ignored? What do you think?