Posts Tagged “situations vacant ad”


We are seeking resumes and demos ONLY from individuals with BOTH (Note: BOTH – there will be trouble if you don’t have BOTH) VIDEO and AUDIO TECHNOLOGY SKILLS. And we do mean BOTH. Not ONE, but BOTH.

We are working on behalf of a high quality small Feature Film and Music Production company owned by NAME ACTORS. Yes, NAME ACTORS. ACTORS with NAMES. Not NOBODIES like YOU. Projects are QUALITY INDIES with literate scripts (ie. NOT horror – we hate HORROR. STOP sending us HORROR scripts. They’re too scary for our NAME ACTORS). NOTE: WE ALREADY HAVE the writing, directing, acting, singing, musicians, and producing covered. WHAT WE NEED : ONLY ONE – or a MAXIMUM TEAM of 3 TECH PEOPLE – we’re not sure – who have ALREADY worked together and can show their collaborative TECH work.

This is a UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY!. You’ll be working with NAME ACTORS, for no money but just think – NAME ACTORS (as in ‘I got screwed by NAME ACTORS’). Speaking of which you must be over 18 years of age or have decent fake ID – we won’t check too hard. Oh, and you must look hot. SUPER MODEL HOT. They are NAME ACTORS after all. In fact if you’re really SUPER MODEL HOT you may not need to have any technical skills at all. Contact us. Remember to send a photo or lots. Video is nice too. Boys, girls – we’re not picky.

We offer you an UPGRADED Credit on the film and potentially grow with our company : People new to the industry but proficient with TECHNOLOGY are welcome, as are more experienced individuals who have updated their skills. WE NEED a Super-Techie who can:

  1. Shoot and Light a Digital Feature
  2. Edit the Feature
  3. Record and master a Music Album/Sound for the Film.
  4. Be really needy and insecure.
  5. Do it all FOR FREE!
  6. Has their own cape and spandex.

It is of utmost importance that you have ENTHUSIASM for the TECHNOLOGICAL aspects of Film and Music Making. For EXTRA credit : if you can also design a “Flash” Skills Website for the project. Massages are nice too.

Remember, you will be working for NAME ACTORS. An opportunity not to be missed.

* Lampooned from an original positions vacant ad – I didn’t need to change much.

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Post Under Business, Video April 16, 2009
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