Wanted

We are seeking resumes and demos ONLY from individuals with BOTH (Note: BOTH – there will be trouble if you don’t have BOTH) VIDEO and AUDIO TECHNOLOGY SKILLS. And we do mean BOTH. Not ONE, but BOTH.

We are working on behalf of a high quality small Feature Film and Music Production company owned by NAME ACTORS. Yes, NAME ACTORS. ACTORS with NAMES. Not NOBODIES like YOU. Projects are QUALITY INDIES with literate scripts (ie. NOT horror – we hate HORROR. STOP sending us HORROR scripts. They’re too scary for our NAME ACTORS). NOTE: WE ALREADY HAVE the writing, directing, acting, singing, musicians, and producing covered. WHAT WE NEED : ONLY ONE – or a MAXIMUM TEAM of 3 TECH PEOPLE – we’re not sure – who have ALREADY worked together and can show their collaborative TECH work.

This is a UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY!. You’ll be working with NAME ACTORS, for no money but just think – NAME ACTORS (as in ‘I got screwed by NAME ACTORS’). Speaking of which you must be over 18 years of age or have decent fake ID – we won’t check too hard. Oh, and you must look hot. SUPER MODEL HOT. They are NAME ACTORS after all. In fact if you’re really SUPER MODEL HOT you may not need to have any technical skills at all. Contact us. Remember to send a photo or lots. Video is nice too. Boys, girls – we’re not picky.

We offer you an UPGRADED Credit on the film and potentially grow with our company : People new to the industry but proficient with TECHNOLOGY are welcome, as are more experienced individuals who have updated their skills. WE NEED a Super-Techie who can:

  1. Shoot and Light a Digital Feature
  2. Edit the Feature
  3. Record and master a Music Album/Sound for the Film.
  4. Be really needy and insecure.
  5. Do it all FOR FREE!
  6. Has their own cape and spandex.

It is of utmost importance that you have ENTHUSIASM for the TECHNOLOGICAL aspects of Film and Music Making. For EXTRA credit : if you can also design a “Flash” Skills Website for the project. Massages are nice too.

Remember, you will be working for NAME ACTORS. An opportunity not to be missed.

* Lampooned from an original positions vacant ad – I didn’t need to change much.

About the Author: skribe

Based in Perth, Australia, Antonio Barimen (aka skribe) is a writer, digital media consultant and social media producer.

He is available to help you develop social marketing and digital media strategies, improving communication between staff, partners and suppliers or just increasing the number of fans on Facebook. He has developed successful digital and social media projects for clients including CBS, Evian, Procter & Gamble, Discovery Networks, Pernod Ricard and American Express.

Connect with him on Twitter or Google Plus.
Tags: , , , , , ,
Post Under Business, Video April 16, 2009
  • It seems that the writer of the original ad found his way here and didn’t appreciate having his little ad parodied. I’ll spare readers the expletive-filled comment but I will offer him a pro-tip as way of a reply.

    Let’s ignore the reputation issues of ‘name actor’ being associated with a production company that can’t pay its employees. Let’s ignore the moral issues about offering only promises and hopes to said highly-skilled employees. And let’s just delve straight into the legal issues associated with having said highly-skilled unpaid employee working with your precious name actor especially on, of all things, a motion picture feature. Is your insurance company fine with that? You do have insurance right? What happens if your unpaid employee accidentally sends a light rig crashing down upon your named-actor’s head? Accidents happen – especially when you cut corners. What happens if your unpaid employees decide they don’t wish to be involved any further and walk off – three weeks into the shoot? Just how do you compel your volunteers to work? Especially when they’re filling such mission-critical roles. I hope you’re able to control your temper and demonstrate far more tact than you showed me.

    Now, here’s the pro-tip: If you pay peanuts you WILL get monkeys.

  • MSN Animations

    Thanks very much for your great blog.